Chronicles of a HeadCase

You are the victim of survival, and the witness in the passing of what could be and what will never come to pass. Never will these emotions surpass the loss of this ocean of unbeareable burial of hope. You can climb out of the six feet of emptiness and run amok with the decadence in everyone and this void in you but nobody will truly know how the daylight has faded on all your silhouettes and of moons that eats away all of your hidden eloquence everyday in every way. How can you leave it all behind, how can you leave all the care that has caressed your soul… all the waiting in the world can never delay your farewells and yet you can never say goodbye. With the waxing of the moon, all hope that has ever been invested in this life seem to have little meaning left and all you have left is but an empty shell of meaningless faded wasted years of living.

But all the anger will dissipate, all the sorrow will drown, and you will eventually learn to swim in the passive sea of acceptance where life supposedly goes on. You feel the need to tell everyone to get away, as you feel every piece of you has slowly faded away…and as time starts to pass, you hold on to the things that you remember about that wasted life and wonder what is it that still makes up the memory of you. Each time you hear that story on the radio you feel that the life you went thru is a passing moment that is no longer apart of who you are. And in a matter of years, when you try to remember how death looked like you will start to remember why you are alive. Wrap yourself in grace and leave the undeserved sins behind, life will come out of the clear sky and before you know it, you will once again be the blooming child in the world that still has the breathe left to stare up into that starry night where dreams still live on. And as the shadows that you thought were unwavering will start to dissipate, please do come out of the blue and reach out to the glow that has always been inside of you. Live life to the fullest for those who have fallen in their paths… its the least we can do in the memory of their being, in the memory of their life.

* Written as a request on the death of someone dear…

The more you struggle the more that sand pit of suspicion, doubt and jealousy will eat you up, where your reason and clarity will quickly be devoured by the hungry belly of acceptance. You’re in so deep you justify every intention, waiting for the sun to shine… but little do you know; only the cold lonely rain will wash it all away. Is it wishful thinking or denial? How do you know when your eyes have been tainted with so much and your mind enveloped by your heart? I know how you feel, I can imagine how it is to be caught in your own web of deception to hold together this fragile state you are in with barely visible threads that could be broken by a gentle breeze. I cannot blame you for the way you are, your heart is no longer yours for how can you think for yourself when you are only thinking for him/her? It may all appear crystal clear to me because I stand and watch on the outside thru this looking glass, how do I reflect this upon you? Detachment helps us to see clearly, but love will keep you alive… I guess we’ll leave it up again to the sands of time to unveil everything to you. In the fire of love, hate, deception, jealousy, and pain… the sand will heat into a mirror where only your reflections prevails and you will see that all the happiness and pain stems from the person you see in that reflection. So how do you want to feel?